Just A Girl In Her Own Little World

I know you've been waiting ....

So, I'm gonna try the video blogging as I had mentioned before ... I think I've got everything set up and viewable now.

You can find me here

See ya there!

Something New ...

So, I've been wanting to start a new blog for some time now. I've decided to go with Blogger, but I've also decided to start vlogging ... so I set up an acct on YouTube and I'll post my Vlogs on my Blogger space. Sometime in the next couple of weeks I should have everything up and migrated and then I'll post new links here for you. I'm thinking I should have this site down my January 1.

I'm just finding it harder to write about what I wanna talk about ... go figure ... so I'll try doin' the video blogging and see how I like that.
I'm also going to start doing some cooking posts. I've been taking the camera to the kitchen with me lately and will be sharing recipes, tips and such.
If I ever figure out how to work my camcorder, I might make some cooking videos, we'll see about that later ...

If you're on my email list, I'll be emailing the new links to you soon, or you can check back here for them!

Have a great day =o)

Since you asked ...

Thought I'd post a quick update on the goings on around here ...

Mom is on week two of the third chemo. This is a once pr week infusion. She seems to be tolerating it MUCH better than she had the Nexavar or the ___________ (I cannot, for the life of me, remember the name of the last stuff she was using ... )
At any rate, the nausea has been mild and manageable. She's been able to eat and drink, keeping herself hydrated, which is a HUGE issue. She must be able to keep herself fed and hydrated to continue on the chemo.  So far, the biggest side effects seems to be the extreme tiredness, which lasts several days, and then hopefully you get a few really good days, before it comes back around again. Sandie was here last weekend and mom was able to go out for a while, they made their way here for a while and mom even managed Target for a quick trip.
They would like to get her to 8weeks before they re-scan to see if it's making any difference on the tumors at all ... We know that it will not have an effect on the tumors in her bones, but we're hoping for good results for the tumors in the soft tissues and a cessation of the  production of the tumors, which starts in the blood vessels ...
Epithilioidhemangeoendothelioma (EHE) is a benign cancer, that is to say, that this particular cancer won't kill you ... but its byproducts will ... tumors are found in both bone and soft tissues, mom's got them in her lungs ... you don't really want ANYTHING in your lungs ... we've heard of them in the liver and kidneys as well ... mom also has bone tumors, her spine being the most effected by them. She has increased tenderness and pain in her lower spine. Radiation may be an option for some of those, but that's not been proved to be effective, (nor has the chemo for the soft tissue tumors) and the radiation regimen is GRUELING, verging on, no, it IS, inhumane ... as are most of the tests and treatments for cancer in general ... much less if you've got a cancer on a handful of people in the world have ...
Mom's on oxygen most of the time now and even then experiences shortness of breath with nearly any exertion ... Today is Saturday, she should be coming around to a few good days ... Tuesday is chemo day and then by Thursday she's  feeling exhausted and sleeping alot ...  It beats seeing her look like she may not get a next breath like the other stuff made her ... We're only two weeks in on the new med so it's still early to decide that this chemo will work for her, but so far so good ...we'll take it!

The Sophmore! School started Wednesday with a bang. She's totally happy to be back and her schedule is just what she wanted.
I think she enjoyed everyday of her summer vacation this year. Next year she'll
be among the working. She's looking forward to getting a job, just a few more months til she's 16 and then I think she will start looking for something part time.

Tiff & Sierra at the end of last school year. Sierra turned 16 yesterday. They partied all night at Sierra's house and this morning went to Seattle so that Sierra could get her bellybutton pierced. I wonder how that all went? Tiffini was 13, and we had it done by a friend to get around the "you must be 16 to have this done even if you have parent permission" ridiculousness ... I'm sure no big tattooed biker is going to sit on top of Sierra while she lies on a bed in the back of a friends mobile home yelling thru the whole thing ... but it happened once...so who knows?? hahahaha

The remodeling is all done. Still have some painting to do ... haven't been  motivated to do that as yet ... As I stood in the kitchen the other night, it finally came to me ... I've been waiting ... I knew it would come ... I just had to have some patience ... the revelation? How the furniture should be arranged ... I knew this was just temporary, and I'd like to also use that as my excuse for failing to adorn the walls as yet ...
Now, I must muster the energy, strength and motivation to move just a couple pieces of furniture ... of course that means emptying a bookshelf and dealing with cords and such from moving the TV and all that's attached to that ... I'm hoping to get that done this next week ... THEN I will put stuff on the walls ...

I had another band fill on Tuesday and I think I may be at the "just right" restriction. I'm definitely nice and tight now, but am able to eat most anything I want. I have noticed that I do not tolerate any kind of fast food ... I tried some McDonalds fries and it was a painful experience, not to mention that they layer of grease or whatever it was that made that shit taste good and go down w/o issue is gone now ... I couldn't swallow those damn things, they kept getting stuck in my throat and they didn't taste like anything I remember liking so well ... oh well ...
Processed food seems to cause more issues than anything else .. my diet is almost entirely whole, fresh, unprocessed - minimally processed foods ... high in protein, low calories and carbs ... I very rarely drink anything other than water or iced tea ( no sugar/no lemon) ...
For all that, I am down 80 lbs  ... so if I can't eat McDonalds fries or white bread the rest of my life ... it's all good ...

Well, Sue has tried, unsuccessfully, to get me out of the house today ... sigh ... We made a couple different plans for tomorrow ... I'm not a good call me ten minutes before you wanna leave kind of person ... I have to talk to the other voices a while and reassure them that it's all going to be ok ... that requires about a days notice ... they are very hard to convince and usually end up needing to be pharmaceutically subdued  ... I guess some things never change ... hahahaha
Enjoy your day ... whatever you do ... or don't do ...

Getting There ...

Omg ... motivation has left the building and if I ever see that fat bastard again, it will be too soon ... hahaha

I've yet to get the art on the walls, or finish unloading the last two baskets in my sleeping nook ... I also need to vacuum the hallway and do two more loads of laundry ... then we reach the bathroom ... which shall lie in wait until such time as I feel sane enough to start another painting project.

I'm really happy with how it's all coming together ... I'm just really tired too!
Here's some pics ...

From the kitchen ... you can see what's left of the collaged wall in that funny triangular shape there at the ceiling, my intention is to paint that and the ugly yellow small wall you see there the same wine color I used in the kitchen. I think that will bring everything together
No matter how hard I try to keep that end of the kitchen bar cleaned off, it inevitably becomes the catch all ... right now I've cookbooks and planters residing there. Once I get the planters full of plants they'll move from there and I'll take the dish drainer down because I have a lovely new dishwasher that is doing a fabulous job of keeping things clean for me now!!
I'm sure something else will take up residence as soon as space becomes available ... No matter how much I love the  minimalist look ... I just can't separate from the need to have "stuff" ... not a lot ... but sometimes enough to keep the end of a bar full ...

Here we have the sleeping nook, it's quite comfortable and cozy in there and I rather like being open to the rest of the house, I don't feel like I'm sleeping in a box anymore ... You can see the art poking out there behind the screen, also behind that screen is my vanity, with the unfinished side facing the living area, the screen is camo ...

From the sleeping nook, we put privacy film in all the windows. I love it, it blocks the crack den next door and all the traffic that goes by in front and it casts great glows on the place as the sun shines thru! And it looks great from outside as well and you can't see anything thru it ... love it!

I only have the one good sun window so all the plants that need good sun must go here ... I'm trying not to aquire any further sun desperate plants ... in this window I used a lace patterned privacy film, that lets more of the bright natural light thru. I also love my new suitcase pieces .. the short one is a two drawer filing cabinet and the tall one is a 7 drawer dresser, that has generous sized drawers great for filling with junk and crap and the like ... doesn't all my junk and crap look good now? hahaha

From the front door ... the chairs were my very good deal o' the day finds ... I got both for a fantastic price, they're both recliners, they match, they're cleanable microsuedefiberstuff ... and they are very generous with their seats, backs and arms, just fantastic comfortable chairs ... love 'em! The only thing I would change is their color ... they're soooo light, so I usually have little lap blankets in the seats to sit on and I've trained the cats (for the most part anyway) not to be on the chairs ... they weren't really fond of the new rule considering they've always been welcome to be on the furniture ... but they only act out in rebellion sometimes ... mostly they've adopted the beds in the house ... if you look closely at the picture of the sleeping nook above, you'll see Sampson in the middle of the bed sleeping the day away as is his way ...

This door will eventually be painted black ... I did update the hardware, opting for a handle as opposed to a knob and a stronger commercial grade deadbolt ... because I did not go with a wood door ( way too expensive to justify ) we had to put the cat door in the wall, which actually works out even better ... the boys are all loving it ... sometimes Mac just sits in front of it and looks out the little window ...

Here's what he sees ... that's their water bowl that I leave on the porch for them ...
Sometimes one or all them will be looking in at what's going on inside ... it's cute to look over and see their little face in the window!

These are under the small kitchen window by the sink ... in the herb pot, I've got chives and thyme (that's not likely to make it, but will get all big green and bushy before it dies so will look good for a while anyway) ... in the orange pot, I planted coleus seeds and just this morning finally saw little green shoots erupting thru the potting soil! In the two margarita cups are two cute little air plants that I aquired from ebay  ...

The porch free from the garbage that wouldn't fit in to the shed!
Omg, I can breathe easier just looking at it! If you look closely, you
will see a superhero lurking there at the end of the porch ...

I'm filling the carport with chimes to block the horrendous noises from the crack den next door.

We did as much cardboard recycling as we could ... this is the pile from what was crammed into the shed ...

This is the pile from the porch ... so ... much ... cardboard ... ack!!!

And this is what 1400 lbs of garbage looks like on its way to the dump!!!
That vacuum cleaner had to ride in the front seat as there was no more room in the back .... I cannot describe how much stress left me watching that truck leave with all that crap!

My undying gratitude, deepest thanks and appreciation go out to the super hero of the day for making all the garbage go away!! Thank you Daniel!!

(And just so you all know, Daniel rocks like the best friend of  the red-headed and tattooed love child of Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin. ;o) )

And that's where it's at ... I'll post another update with new family, health, etc updates hopefully this week sometime ...

Where it be at ..

Well, the remodel is nearly complete.
Rick will be here on Monday to replace the front door and hang the cat door.
Those are the last two things on my list ... whoo fkn hooo!!
I've got a large dump run to make next week.
And now everything has to be put in order, I'm a little over half way there with all that.
The kitchen is complete, the living room is nearly there and my new bedroom area is pretty well under control. We intend to paint the bathroom in the next couple months sometime but to be perfectly honest, I am about sick to freakin' death of cleanin', paintin', and  movin' all my crap! So, the bathroom isn't probably going to get a whole lot of attention for a while. Once the living room is back together I intend to take a break from that kind of disruption for a while. It makes me completely insane to have everything I own in one big ol' pile! Go figure ...

At any rate, I took some pictures of the progress so far to show mom since she's been too sick to come over for a while, and thought I'd post them here for your viewing pleasure ... I know you must care a whole lot ... ;o)

Originally, the idea was to only remove 1/2 the wall from the small room and extend it about 4 feet into the living room, making a slightly larger bedroom, however, when 1/2 the wall was down it opened everything up so much I decided right then that a new wall would not be going up, that it would just be left open, Aimee's idea was to remove the entire wall .... so that's what we did ...

Goodbye wall ...

When you only have 56 ft of space, everything you own ends up in one big ol' pile ... I cannot begin to express how stressful that part is ...

The color I chose for the kitchen was supposed to be a nice wine color ... listen up little ones, when painting with reds, do NOT use white primer, you will get a horrid pink/fuscia color, depending on the depth of the red you are trying to achieve ... this picture shows the difference between using the white primer and using the dark gray primer ... I have NEVER wanted a pink kitchen ... hahaha

Rick came yesterday and installed the new hood over the stove! All of the previous appliances were bisque or almond colored ... the black works much better so far as I'm concerned.

The beautiful BIG pantry Rick built, I love that thing, it gave us so much more room!
We put a pretty geometric patterned privacy film in the big garden window and removed the large plastic shelf that had sat in front of the window for the last four years ... not only did that open up the space in there ... but it gave us back the use of that window, which we had not been using all this time. The floor is vinyl, it looks so good and so real, I just love it ... this particular vinyl is adhesive free, you use this tape stuff under the appliances and around the doorways and the vinyl sits on the rest of the floor w/o adhesive, you can get right back on this floor once it's laid because there's no more waiting for the glue to dry. It was about 20 cents more pr sq ft, but it was totally worth it. When you only need a 12x10 piece, you can pretty much afford to go with whatever you want. I had originally picked out a nice black and white marble looking vinyl, but that was going to be a special order and I didn't have 10 days to wait for it. The store had this in stock and I couldn't be happier with it and I'm glad it's not the black & white stuff now. It helps make the cupboards seem not quite so ugly ... hey, whatever works ...

I am sure the neighbors will be happy that all is completed. Rick likes to get started bright and early at 9am! Remodeling is very loud! I am hoping to have the living room finished up today or tomorrow, and I will post pics when that is complete ...

T minus 60 and counting ...

It has been a while hasn't it ...
It's been very busy here.

I am 8 weeks post surgery and down 60 lbs already. That's just crazy shit right there!
I feel completely recovered from the surgery itself, tho I'm having some increased pain in my hips, back and legs. I suspect that will all right itself in time. Rehabilitating a badly neglected, often abused physical body is likely to be somewhat painful ... but no more so than doing nothing about it ...

At any rate, I had my first fill on July 3 and the second one on July 16. It just didn't feel tight enough on the first one and as you lose the band will loosen and need to be adjusted. I'm still feeling good with the July 16 fill. I do have a follow up appt with the doc on Aug 7, I will likely have another fill on that day as I am starting to notice this one starting to loosen.

I seem to be tolerating food just fine and have only thrown up once. (Note to self: bread is always a NO) ...  I can eat about 1/2 cup of food at a time, every 3-5 hrs, which is just about optimum.

I rarely "feel" the port anymore unless I'm trying to or the tech is sticking a needle in it.
My doc uses flouroscopy with every fill, which is interesting to watch. I haven't had any pain from the fill, but I do not care for the part where they leave the needle and tube hanging out of your abdomen while they sit you up and make you take a swallow of barium ... it's a visual pain ... lol

We've been doing a lot of remodeling (I'll post some pictures soon). I had a new back porch built, new roof done, took out an entire wall, had new floors laid in what was once my room and Tiffini's room. We're having a new floor laid in the kitchen, a built in (read: FUNCTIONAL) pantry, all new (black) kitchen appliances, a new front door hung complete with cat door, new furniture, decor. I wish it was all done now, but we've got the kitchen and door yet to do, then comes some painting. I figure by the end of August everything should be complete and I will have, yet again, made certain the folks over at Xanax Corp will not be getting any pink slips ... hahaha

Tiff & Zach are out running around today enjoying the summer vacation. Zach has been helping Rick do the remodeling, he's been a huge help and he's learned alot too! I know Rick appreciates the help and they work well together. Tiff finishes drivers school on Thursday. She's still got at least six months on a permit.
She painted her room pink ... bubblegum pink. It's really cute ... on her! She loves it and that's all that matters I suppose. Her gramma Joan was here last week for a quick visit. It's always nice to see her =o)

Mom is having a hard time again. She's off the Nexavar as it wasn't doing anything. Now she's on a new chemo drug and they test her in about 12 weeks and decide if this one is doing anything for her. In the meantime, she's have a lot of pain and nausea again. It's such a vicious cycle.
We are looking for a mobile home for her to buy, get her out of the over priced rental she's in now. I suspect that if they can't find a chemo drug that will work for her, Tiffini & I will be moving in with her pretty soon. The worse the pain and nausea gets the harder it will be for her to take care of everything by herself ...

Well, I've got some maps and a staple gun that need my attention ...

Whew! Glad that's over ...

Surgery went very very well and recovery just nearly as well.
The 2nd & 3rd days were the worst and even at that, if I had to do
it again, I could and would ... I required very little pain medication
to manage for about the first week. Can I just say ... Liquid Vicodin,
where have you been my whole life?? It's a good thing I really only enjoy
pain meds when I'm actually having pain, cuz I'm pretty sure I could
develop an unhealthy relationship with that mess ... Good Lord!
I have only five incisions (small), thank God for laparoscopy, the biggest
being just about 1 1/2 inches. They didn't use stitches on the outside, used
some super glue stuff, worked great, tho one of my incisions sprouted a couple threads
from the stitches they used inside ... I coulda lived without that, but healing was
otherwise uneventful and very quick. I still have some tightness and stinging to a
very small degree where they stitched the port into the muscle wall at the rib cage.
I am assured that will go away and I will once again be able to sleep on my left side
comfortably.

I have my first fill scheduled for July 3.
This is the surgeon I used.
I'm very happy with this place and would recommend to anyone who may be considering. Plus, you won't find a better cash/private pay price in the states.